I'm a pecan-burn victim.

Who knew that those yummy nuts could be the cause of such pain? Such agony? Such humiliating stories for all my friends to see and laugh at me about?
Here's the Cooking Crimestoppers Official Report:
"It was a dark and stormy night in the kitchen at Jen's house. She was trying out a new recipe... one which was almost finished baking, when an idea popped into her fevered brain. 'Why don't I just stick my finger on the baking treat, just to see if the middle of it is still gelatinous or not?' And so, the fateful decision was made, and Jen pushed her finger too far into the middle of the pecan-encrusted pumpkin cake...ALAS! AND ALACK! A pecan seized her finger and in a fit of hands-waving-about-all-over-the-place, it was dislodged and settled on a new location... the top of her upper lip. There it sizzled until Jen finally got it off and rushed to put ice on the scene of the crime. Now she looks as if an amazingly huge cold sore volcano erupted over her upper lip. The Polysporin ointment only increases the beauty of this third eye."
The pernicious pecan has vanished. It has not been seen since. There is a warrant out for its arrest. If you see this pecan please call 555-5555 and report your tip. Oh, the treat was lovely, by the way... even with its nefarious nuts.